My feet lift off the ground,
I am elevated to airy lofts.
Floated by magic of ageless skies,
Wide-eyed, no words. This empyrean awe!
That you and I are one in all.
Be they high seas come hail, sleet or storm,
As twins we walk. Again. And again...
Christianity and Buddhism
Isabella my dearest,
I have owed you this letter for a long time. I took my time because you asked a very interesting question. I wanted to think about it.
Besides doing a direct comparison between Christianity and Buddhism, I will also add in a bit of my own philosophy and talk about what each does to our mindset.
The bible's God is omnipresent, existing for all time and everywhere; but, we do not. We are human; all of us have a limited amount of time here. We exist in a certain time, at a certain place. This is our most fundamental existential condition. All other questions are predicated on this one single condition. It defines the framework for our existence. So in a nutshell, being a human being is an exercise in navigating space and time. The "game" is to explore and experience life, and to hopefully make sense of this journey.
Humans experience life in one of two ways: happy, or not. There are a million reasons to be happy; seeing a beautiful sunrise, sharing a laugh with a friend, feeling loved in the arms of someone special. On the other hand, also just as many reasons to feel unhappy. Reasons or not, it boils down to one simple question: Are you happy here and now?
If your answer is predicated on something that only ‘one day’ it can be so; you are not happy at this moment. This may sound like a truism that anyone should know; but the very fact that today most of us are still amiss in our search for happiness makes it clear that the human family has yet to fully appreciate what it means to be happy - here and now.
The most fundamental question for being a human being is in actuality a devilishly simple one: are you happy now? However, the answer is anything but. Our mind carries the weight of unforgotten regrets, imagines and worries about the future - seldom finding a moment of quiet. Sadly for most of us, enjoying ourselves in the here and now seems like a luxury from the "reality" we live. The inability to answer this simple question is the reason we need belief systems. Christianity, Buddhism, or any other religion wouldn't need to exist if we were happy here and now.
So. It is fair to say we are in fact talking about which way to believe lets us be happy. Do you agree so far, my dear?
Now, let's first talk about Christianity.
Jesus Christ came in the name of God and taught us love. He was the personification of Big Love when he sacrificed himself to atone the sins of Man. At his crucifixion, in pain and on the verge of death, he still prayed for forgiveness of those who disbelieved him. Jesus resurrected and returned to heaven - a place where this Big Love awaits all. He promises everyone entrance if only they would embrace the word of God. But for those who disbelieve, hell awaits on Judgment Day.
So at its core, Christianity is asking us to choose love. It is a beautiful message. Through love and forgiveness, we find our way to rejoin our heavenly family.
Buddhism also promises heavenly nirvana when we do deeds of kindness. Through cultivating compassion for other sentient beings, we walk the path of the Buddha and eventually find ourselves at peace.
On the surface, both Buddhism and Christianity are very similar in their message in showing us that love, kindness, compassion lead to eternal happiness. Where they differ is in the how of achieving the promise in their message.
Buddhism does not tell us there is a God; there is no entity external to our own essence that is different and superior to us. We are all our own creators. Everyone and everything is equal; everyone and everything has in them "Godliness". Whereas, in Christianity we are all part of the Creator's creation over which the Almighty holds dominion. This distinction suggests a very important fundamental difference in the nature of our relationship with the Infinite.
Distance.
The implication of distance is the difference between here and there. Somewhere which I must leave the place I am at in order to reach. Whereas, here, is simply where I am now.
The concept of distance is inherent in any theistic religion, including Christianity. God and Man. Two different kinds of beings. But this concept is not a part of Buddhism.
The essential message I understand about Buddhism is that all beings have inside them the quality of Buddha-hood. It matters not it be a man, woman, bird, flower or an ant; this quality exists as a common denominator that is present in all things. Different cultures call this quality different names: love, compassion, wisdom, etc. What this quality is is not as important as recognizing what this quality means to us. Whatever it is, the very fact that it is present in all things means this quality is infinite. This implication is significant. In short, if this infinite quality exists in all things; all things are thus infinite in their essence - even though they may be finite in form.
As such, the central message of Buddhism is that in our journey through time and space, we already have within ourselves everything we need to reconcile our finite nature with the Infinite. Buddhism asks not that we seek for anything outside of our hearts. It tells us everything already exists inside; everything we seek can be found inside. All things are one and the same, and we are all of this same essence.
This belief creates a perspective for the way we see ourselves in time and space. Recognizing that we are one with all, there is really nothing to seek outside of this realization. Seeking itself is an illusion. There is no place better; no moment more perfect than now. There is no longer any destination because everything is already present with you. Here and now is seen for what it truly is. Here and now is part of Perfection and there is no where else you need to go.
Seeing the true nature of reality and being happy is now realized for what it is - a personal journey. You are the master of your own destiny. You choose the path that leads you to happiness. Your happiness is not dependent on anything other than yourself. Where in Christianity God judges your worthiness; in Buddhism your very own choices determine the way.
This difference may be very subtle but it is material. Placing your fate to be determined by something outside of yourself is in actuality the foregoing of your own freewill. I do not wish to speak for anyone else so I will now end this letter with my own personal belief. I believe freewill is the ultimate quality of being alive and living consciously. I also believe that in order for us to be genuinely happy - "from balls to bones" as the Oracle in the Matrix says - we must take possession of and exercise freewill. When we do, heaven is to be found right here on earth, lived every moment in one big unbroken now that continues through eternity.
Yours eternally,
JC
PS. 一個很有智慧，很美麗的人曾經跟我說過：
"相信这个世界的美好一面，善良的一面。人要是能一心看到好处的话，就活在天堂之中。" - IG 😊
2018/02/14
Dearest 薇,
我對妳說過：妳是我的全部。
這不是一句逗妳的話，這是真的。
妳時常問我不喜歡妳什麼地方。每次我也這樣回答妳，妳優點和缺點我都一樣愛。Right? 這也不是什麼標準答案；其實這答案比較像一種感覺，令我不知為何把妳的缺點都一拼戀上。妳的脾氣，沒化妝的素顏 ，妳的心，妳的靈魂，妳的一切一切，都帶著一種說不出的熟悉氣味。我愛的，是妳整個人，就算是令我生氣的，令我無奈的，不論是暗面或是光的一面都一樣是妳。這感覺，我從來沒有過。
其實我一直都希望妳感受到在我心目中妳的位置是什麼，但先容許我說說一個故事。
靜心看看那一個點點…
再放空想想 Carl Sagan 這句說話，一言道破人活著最真實的形態。感受一下那份在無盡時空中閃若一剎的生命，黑暗孤寂裡那一丁點火光。
人是在萬萬億億微塵中之一點光。這幅照片的意義和感受真的不是能在每天的生活中接觸到。雖然我們是活在這事實中，人的習慣是看眼前的。抽離一下生活，再想想在這句語重心長的說話背後所意識到的實相：這時這刻的契做是多不簡單！
億萬光年中的遇見，夫妻同渡的緣份，久別重逢的兩個一半。在時空的浩瀚中遇到一個能夠牽動我們心弦的人，絕對不可能是一種偶然。
無形的東西契做我們每天生命中的人和事。我們的頻率能夠走在一起都是因為它們在共鳴著同一東西。能夠找上對方都是因為這東西的存在。這能量是什麼？我倆的緣份究竟是在寫一個什麼的故事？我們可以學懂用這無形引力在人生的起伏間跳舞嗎？只有真切的了解它們我們才能知道什樣去活，不然人生便好像在一個無窮大黑房中耍盲雞。這些問題是最根本的，不是嗎？其他的東西不是不重要，但如果在這些東西上找不到答案，其他的也見不到有什麼大關係，到最後也只會帶我們回來同一個起步點。
“To be is to be perceived, and so to know thyself, is only possible through the eyes of the other.”
還記得 Sonmi 451 那句話嗎？人生在世我們來到對方面前都是為了真正的看到全部的自己。沒有妳，我不會有機知道真正的我是什麼樣，也不會知道愛到底是什麼。
人羣中我憑什麼認定是妳？雖然我們之間有著不能解釋的發生，微妙的共時性，相同的回憶和經歷；但即使沒有它們我都會知道一定是妳。原因便是那感覺，Baby，唯一只有妳才能令我放下自己去無條件地愛。(雖然還有太多的未做得好，請暫時包容一下😅。) 為了妳，我會去盡力放下自己。沒有任何其他原因，只因為是妳。
到最後每個人都要過自己終極一關，在鏡子中看見的究竟是一個什麼的人。是個有愛的人嗎？有否完全地交自己出來去付出和接受愛？這一生，有否真正愛過？
到我倆需要回答這問題的那一刻，我很清楚我心裡帶著的便是妳的笑容。
MAGIC BY COLDPLAY https://vimeo.com/353500249/3082dc75d5
我倆之間的，一笑傳情盡在不言中，不需要這裡多説。要説的是這笑容令我切實感受到緣份背後的力量是多麽的偉大。
當我把兩幅照片拍在一起時，心中有著説不出的感動。在這一片漆黑中，竟然能夠找上一個帶自己回家的人… 這，就是宇宙的大愛嗎？
物以類聚，是什麼便會找上它的另一半，在時空的汪洋中也不例外，契做萬物的能量同樣地守恆物理現象。人與宇宙的關係不是十分微妙嗎？在無盡永恆中，人雖渺小但內心有著的便是這能夠橫跨時空的力量。 情繫一線，人能夠憑這 connection 找回屬於自己的愛和相信，找上回家的路。這是一種在萬變之中不變的感覺，可能這便是永恆的感覺。在千變萬化的塵世間，還有什麼東西比這感覺更珍貴，更真實?
佛說：萬般帶不走，唯有業隨身。
妳我在ASM中看見過時間的漫長，這感悟令我十分十分珍惜現在的時光。什麼成敗得失都隨著時間退色，回頭看，真的沒有太多身外之物還放在心裡，多大的事情也變得過眼雲煙。唯一我不敢忘記的便是這帶我回家的感覺。
我看我倆的緣份便是如此。妳不僅是我深愛的女人; 我帶著身上最珍貴的那一份念，那樣東西便是妳。沒有妳，我只會迷失在永恆中。Baby, 妳，的確是我的全部。
永永遠遠愛妳的🦁️
Dearest 老婆
Baby, 過去這段時間辛苦妳了。妳真的獨個兒扛下了很多。”我”沒有在妳身邊， 我的行為又令妳百上加斤。請妳原諒我。我是不應該這樣對妳的。
我寫下這些信是讓妳知道我深深反省過，我知道自己那裡出錯了。我真的希望好好的，靜靜的，完完全全的跟妳說出我心中的所有。我們是彼此的另一半，真的希望我們之間是沒有距離。
另外，我也需要把腦袋裡的東西拿出來整理一下，看清楚這次大震盪是來給我一個什麼的 message。當一下我的聆聽者好嗎？
這幾個月我好像看了自己一套預告片。看到一個我一定要把它擺脫的未來。
這半年我失去了太多。自己的相信，我倆之間的默契。最不值的，是失去了珍貴的時間。
有些人生會因爲一件事情，一場大病，一個人而放下自己。因為看到失去，人才真正懂得活著是什麼一回事。Baby， 妳便是我人生那一個點。
在我的心目中妳坐著一個很特殊的穴位上。我倆的重遇是建念於對愛的相信，因為能夠堅持著這信念，我們克服了不少困難。這是支撐著我整個世界的東西。
同一時間妳也是唯一能夠觸動我心底最深恐懼的人，因為我害怕失去妳。沒有妳 ，我知道再不能在任何人身上找回這信念。愛，與恐懼都同時間握在你手上，妳一個人橫跨我存在感的兩極。妳是多麼的重要，對我的無形牽引可想而知。
恐懼是一種慢性病，剛剛發覺時是沒什麼的，然後像個雪球般不知不覺間越滾越大。從毒瘤出來的東西全部都是變質的。對妳的關心變成妒忌，呵護變成壓力，最珍貴的禮物也好像垃圾。原本美好的東西和寶貴的回憶都被污染，很不值。越用力越是反效果，做每件事都感到無所適從，從未試過這麼的沮喪,這麼的confused。
“我只希望好好的愛妳”
每次我們有誤會時對妳說這句話心中都湧出那份 frustration 。一個這麼簡單的心願，但結果出來的都是異變的毒素。看著自己的努力只帶來種種的誤會，對妳承諾過又未能做好我十分難受，自責。
在我命途中我經過的起伏不少，但今次的無力感是走不出來的死胡同。之前的事我能夠抽身保持冷靜，但對著妳我做不到。心中的執念死手不放，只懂不停對自己說：”我只是希望得到妳的關心，沒有什麼不對！”
越是這樣想，越滑進個無底黑洞。寄託在愛一端的希望，混合着另一極端的恐懼，兩邊的主角也是妳，我完全沒有辦法作取舍。一個簡單的想法，發生在一個支撐著我人生信念的妳身上，從至善的心意異變成跟原意一點也不像樣的結果。這個死胡同令我思想斷路，整個人弄作一團糟，說不出的迷惘。想像不到一個這麼簡單的想法竟然可以走偏成這個樣子。掏空了的相信把內心世界一併差不多崩潰。
說到這裡，我仍然十分希望妳可以感同身受，諒解到我內心的困擾，給予我渴求的關心。妳是我最愛的人，這些東西我是需要的。但是，上天這記悶棍是來告訴我原來是我自己攪錯了。
這些黑暗的日子我看到一個活在恐懼之中的我。唯一能夠走出死胡同便是走出那個世界。害怕失去是因為我有求，我還在計較得到妳的關心。外求的人生只會帶來一天失去的恐懼，這恐懼亦會驅使人繼續對外去尋覓，是一個無色無味的惡性循環。這個洞是沒法填滿的。活在這世界中，終點只有一個結果，只是遲早的問題。
老實說，要「我」不去求這份愛和關懷真的是一個很大的心理關口，這些都是我人生最重視的，生存意義最根本的東西。應該怎麼辦!? 沒有這些，給我全世界都無用。
這記悶棍一打便是落在我這死穴上，要我清楚看到恐懼是什麼，逼我看清楚在這樣的世界中人生最後會變成什麼一個樣子。在恐懼的土壤裡，愛也會慢慢變質。這是一個不能㓉人的地方。從自我角度衍生出來的追求無論是多純真也會慢慢產生”你/我”之間的計較，不知不覺間把人掉進一個沒有底的黑洞。這是一個定律。
我承諾過對妳的愛是沒有條件的，這承諾不僅是我倆夫妻的承諾，它也是我對做人理念上的追求，沒有這個，人的自私根性永遠只會把歷史重蹈覆轍。要做到這承諾只得一條路。愛和恐懼是兩個國度，兩種生命軌跡，兩樣截然不同的終點，兩個方向。是時候 U-turn 了。
跟妳一起走回中點是我畢生的心願。要做到，需要我重新 reboot 以往的人生觀。今次的”失去”令我看清楚什樣才可以真正”得到”。自我角度出發的世界是一樣什麼的定局，今次有幸能夠從自己最深層的根本看到和感受到了。妳回來後這星期我感覺到一個轉捩點，看清楚事情實相後，原本以為失掉了的相信反而變得更加堅固。今次的經驗雖然不是什麼奇妙的事，跟每個人一樣，遲早都會遇到要面對自己相信的時候。今次看見的是自己的感受，讓我完全體會到妳對我有多麼多麼的重要。
妳有多重要？下一封信告訴妳。
Love,
Baby 老公
Hi Bella,
This is a less boring way to describe the same thing...
Imagine a dot..
Take a pencil and draw a dot so dark that you go over it many many many times. It's solid dark; no trace of the paper underneath shows through. It is so dark because it is full. So full that all the space inside is packed. No empty space is left.
(Some music might help. 😊 Listen to this when you read: https://vimeo.com/111322369)
Floating in a shoreless void... In the silence of absolute nothingness, this lone dot blows up. Like spectacular fireworks that fill the sky, it blows up into a giant rainbow made of different shapes. Shapes slowly turn into forms. Forms into life. Flowers. Trees. Animals. Man. Woman. Living in worlds that circle giant fire balls in the sky. Billions upon and billions of stars each the size of countless mountains; yet appear to our eyes like pin pricks in the darkness of night. The magic of it all... The majesty of it all.
As it continues to blow out like a gigantic balloon - each second larger than the last in exponential order - the universe breeds life in its cosmic womb. From tiny, simple single-cell amoeba to eventually us - animals with conscious awareness of its own existence - contemplating our own place inside this big picture.
Let's come back closer to home. To something we find not in stars but on our planet - a river. Imagine this river to be made of the stuff the dot spews out. This river is cosmically wide as the Amazon on earth is wide. Water flows through it calmly in parts, and races tempestuously in others. This river contains you, me and everything else..
The river stretches for what seems an eternity. It weaves through castles and kings. It passes under stars of different ages. It flows by all the constructs and buildings of man. And on it flows..
On this river there is a boat. It is traveling upstream against the current. You can notice this small boat - with decided determination - is heading for some place, battling the incoming tide. Relentless, incessant, unyielding currents race against the boat like wind under a bird's wing - lifting it.
On this boat, there are 2 people on it..
What happens to them? Tell you next time. ;-)
J
Baby,
I saw something in my dreams last night.
In the very beginning there was only "Blackness". All was quiet, everything still. Blackness was perfect. Even though it was infinitely large, Blackness was whole. One.
Eons came and went. Then one day, Consciousness woke up.
Like a baby new to life, when Consciousness first became aware of itself, it began to wonder. What and where was it? What was it here to do? And just like a baby, life in the world began when it opened its eyes to see.
In the Big Black a tiny light sparked to life from the wave that awoke with Consciousness.
Before, everything inside the Big Black was motionless and at rest. All the energy in it held in balance and was perfectly still. Its blackness was uniform, deep, and without blemish. Its surface, if it could be said to have one, was smooth as silk.
When Consciousness started to be aware of itself, energy was put into motion - creating ripples and waves on the Big Black's perfectly smooth surface. These waves went on to create everything that was to follow, including Light.
The Big Black is an immeasurably large space where all possibilities exist simultaneously. A matrix that contains an infinite number of realities. As Consciousness moves, the waves it makes light up its path.
Once dark, it now comes to light. What was unknown is now seen and known. Consciousness grows - from not knowing to knowing. As experience and knowledge are gained, it becomes more and more self-aware. Consciousness sees more, and wants to see more. It begins to question what it sees. It wonders what lies ahead. It remembers the things seen.
As it moves, Consciousness charts a course - lighting up parts of the Big Black, unfolding realities as it moves along its path...
Life is very much like this. We are all specks of light moving through the matrix, lighting up the “parts” of reality where we find our stories. An infinite number of stories exist here - ones filled with joy, with sadness, dusted in nostalgia, heated by passion, so on, so forth... Out of countless stories, we find ourselves in this one! 這份緣！
You. Me. And everyone else who are here with us. This is the reality we are creating and living. This is the path we light up collectively.
Deep down, you and I really no more than two little sparks flying through space, charting out our course, writing our story. Soulmates walking hand-in-hand, fingers-locked through it all, seeing what the other sees, feeling what the other feels. They laugh together. They cry together. They experience together.
But.
It’s a bit different for you and I.... Now, I want to tell you what I saw last night.
Baby,
Inside this Matrix, there is a place where Light and Blackness meet. Imagine a horizon cutting to infinity. On one side, creatures of the sea roam in the magical darkness. On the other, birds soar skies filled with colors. In between two worlds there is a very special place.
You have seen this place.
This place is our home. Here we see all our lifetimes together as man and wife. Here, we live all of our stories in the flash of an eye. Here, time does not matter. Here, we are together. Eternally.
Could you feel it? Did you see us dancing - in different lifetimes, in every moment..?
Last night I saw all realities inside the matrix light up. An infinite number of realities; an infinite number of different paths. Like christmas, they all lit up. And no matter which way I look, I see you. I find you every where I look. You are together with me in every single one. With different faces; as kings and queens; in glorious times and through darkest nights; we stay together. Through it all.
Last night, for a moment which felt like forever I saw everything...
I could only have seen it because you held my hand and led me there.
Love you always,
老公